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‘Things derive their being and nature by
mutual dependence and are nothing in themselves.’

N¯ag¯arjuna, second century Buddhist Philosopher

AS A SKYDIVER I understood the rule of "mutual dependence" with
humble modesty. The sky, like the world we live in, is a constantly mercurial
environment. To live happily, we are required to be completely
aware and responsible. Inflexible attitudes and mindsets are limiting and
result in us being expelled from the playground of life.
Leaving South Africa to live in the United Kingdom mirrored the
action of launching myself out of a plane and into freefall. Initially I
enjoyed the consistency and form that both my experience of freefall and
the British society offered. Feeling the cushion of air pushing up against
my belly, whilst speeding earthwards and reaching terminal velocity, felt
akin to adjusting to my new life in the UK.
I buzzed with excitement. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as
I encountered a country which seemed beyond reproach in every way.
Having been a skydiver for many years, I believed I would be able to handle
the stress that came with change. The spirit of adventure beat within
my soul. I was, in my heart, an adventurer.
In truth, to survive the path of being an adventurer takes attitude
and flexibility.Being inventive, creative and impulsive, ensured my pathway.
But I required an impeccable sense of Self to survive living in a society that
grew more and more rigid and constrictive to my South African spirit.
Surrounded by the constrictions of the hierarchical system in the UK,
plus the bureaucracy, infantalising, obsession with fashion, the quest
for youth and the constant need for rigid order, no one actually cared for
anyone else. An air of carelessness was demonstrated everywhere.
I became despondent and, like reaching the point of perfect standoff
in freefall when atmospheric drag resists gravity’s acceleration, I lost
the enthusiasm that comes with speed. With every foot I dropped, I lost
impetus and hope.
Furthering my despondency was the LeisureNet trial presided over
by the legal fraternity of South Africa and the Scorpions, both of whom
took their toll. Being labelled the "whistleblower" in the LeisureNet collapse,
whilst being indirectly suspected of its downfall, meant that I
became largely unemployable and was forced to live on social welfare.
Throwing out my pilot chute in order to open my parachute mirrored
my action of seeking comfort with people whose intentions were
not clear to me, and as a result I was further demeaned and denigrated.
Parachutes can collapse. When there is no energetic connection
between the skydiver and the canopy, control is lost. Just like our sense
of Self, the suspension lines of the canopy are the structural skeleton of
the parachute and if they get twisted the skydiver will either get hurt or
die trying to land.
"Your external world mirrors your internal world." Looking above
me at the entanglement of the lines of my parachute convinced me of this
truth. I had been unprepared for the rigidity and prejudice of the UK’s
society and I became dangerously alienated and depressed. Like a puppet
on strings I was being managed by the environment, instead of being
guided by my authentic Self.
My parachute had started spiralling, first slowly and then picking
up speed, until the world around me blurred into confusion. I did not
want to lose my resolve and knew that failure was not an option. Giving
up and planning aggressively were not compatible, and I had to make a
choice. It was essential that I remained completely open to the cards that
had been dealt directly in front of me.
We see the world not as it is, but as we expect it to be. Indeed, we
do not see the world, we see ourselves. I expected to be a survivor and
knew that openness and positivism would be the keys.
I reached over to the cutaway and, with all my resolve and a great
deal of faith, pulled it to release the now crumpled canopy above.
Reaching over with my other hand, I tugged frantically at the trigger to
release my reserve. In that time of nothingness, with the wind thundering
wildly around me, I understood the meaning of surrender. This enormous
pause forced me to consider who I am and to appreciate that it
took courage and honesty to restore congruency.
My core values and beliefs had been moulded by living a significant
life in the challenging country of South Africa, and as my reserve
chute powered open in a flash of colour, I knew that that was where I
longed to return.
Floating blissfully down to earth, I considered that living a life in
opposition to my own values meant losing my sense of Self and being
banished from the sky of Life. I had survived freefall and the unexpected
challenges of living in a foreign environment. I had landed on my feet.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.

Emily Dickinson